Do you fall into the same relationship patterns? Finding yourself with people who don’t want to commit, are negative, narcissistic or worse, abusive? Do people reject you, saying you are ‘too needy?’
If you have an underlying belief that you are not lovable, then these are the types of relationship you will attract. It will be all you think you deserve. However we are not often aware that these beliefs are running in the background as they have usually been imprinted when we were very young.
I was struck by an example given on our training course – A woman came to Marisa for therapy as she was having difficulty forming lasting relationships. During regression she went back to a time when she was very young. She remembered her father coming home from a long day at work and wanting to spend time with him. Instead, shortly after arriving home, he went out running for an hour and even when he returned home he did not come back into the house but sat outside on the steps for some time. The little girl felt that her father did not want to spend time with her and as a result she came to the conclusion that he obviously did not love her.
Now, as an adult she could clearly see that this belief was totally unfounded – her father probably just needed time to de-stress from his working day, and to recover after his run. But the young child had formed the belief that SHE was not lovable, and this belief had been carried through into her adult life. Once this was uncovered it was possible to instil new, more positive beliefs and for her to give herself the love she needed, and she went on to form a deep, fulfilling relationship.
Before you can truly love someone
you need to fall in love with someone else –
YOURSELF
So, what underlying beliefs might you be holding onto? As you can see from the example above the cause can be completely innocuous. Book an RTT session to find out and banish it forever. It’s time to have the relationship you desire.
Image by Clem Onojeghuo
